so i went to see Brokeback Mountain, directed by Ang Lee.... twice. Beautifully done! Not since "Hotel Rwanda" can I think of a movie has stuck with me in the way that this one has, lingering in my thoughts this new year. Brokeback dredged up some pretty profound thinking about love: unrequited, at first sight, to do or not to do, how to do.... and timing. As I am certified "sprung" these days, it made me think about how much we take for granted certain freedoms to express love the way we choose. Born in a different country or at a different time with the same emotional orientations, I may have died or been killed for being one who dared to dream of a life companionship, and found stubborn courage to make it so.
Clearly, this story about two "straight" cowboys who fall in love with each other during a summer sheep-keeping job is a testimony of a society that could not tolerate romantic love between men. Indeed one of the men could not even imagine such a possibility. But I was more interested in the dreamer-- the one who imagined the possibility in the the face of its relative impossibility. There was something extremely moving and divine about that. And in 2005, while light years ahead of the '60's and '70's in rural Wyoming, it's not uncommon for men to find it no less challenging (impossible even) to imagine the possibility of romantic love with another man. Considering the relative cultural shifts, one wonders if some are just endowed with courage to "go for" their happiness against all odds, versus those whose fates run parallel with whatever is deemed socially normative.
So yes... i'm a dreamer. I plotted my way out of rural Arkansas to open up the possibility for loving the way God made me to love. I still fight to maintain faith in that possibility. Certainly, things are easier today... but there are challenges still. While I know my family loves me, I'm not certain that they would honor my legacy in ways that truly respect my contributions to society. I would hope they would honor whomever I chose to love as if they were my wife, but I'm still learning to gain confidence in that. My relationship and openness with my father has helped tremendously.
That Ennis character allowed his fear to consume him. Many will say that he had no other option... but there are always options, even if it's a bad choice between the rock and the hard place. There is vast evidence that people in places similar to the context of the film took the risk to follow their dreams or heart's content. Indeed, some must have died for that love. And so I love in the way I do today as a way of honoring them, honoring myself, and yes...honoring God. Kudos to Jack (Nasty) Twist and his real-life parallels, for paving a way for my own brilliant possibilities.
Brokeback Mountain, beyond being among the most beautifully tragic love stories I've seen, made me generally more appreciative for having the courage to follow my convictions. I'm grateful for a soceity that while, not resolved in its affirmation of the ways some of us choose to love, at least struggles with the issue. I try to imagine if the circumstances were different, if I would find the courage to imagine, the resolve to be steadfast, the faith to believe that love conquers all. I hope to be a light whose courage shines hope on many who need only to see people striving for the life they feel they deserve. Our constitutional principles of "Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" are things we have to fight to secure and maintain. They have never and will never simply be given to any of us.
