I have waited for my tears to come for a long time
Never really fought for love, when it seemed to slip away
I never let myself cry over broken hearts
Sucked it up like a man’s man- unmanned
Developed some script of strength
A guise of guardedness
A mask
A pretense of resolve
But inside I had been breaking
Excess boiling over
A residue of emotions building
exploding
trying to own my shit and not blame
coping with the losses unexplained
So between midnight and 3am these days
I allow the tears to do more than well up
suck up courage to help them get unstuck
take my own advice
and remember to breathe
before wiping them tenderly away
Understanding these are first steps
towards a new day
I learn to smile through their falling
a good hurt
And stay up relishing memories
of all things good about being held well
remembering that good love is loving good
Even when things don't seem as they should
When loving don’t make sense
When there is no evidence of your loving
beyond your own confidence
And I think
Someday,
I may have water enough from tears
To baptize myself in the safety
of a love (again)
Like I’ve never been hurt at all
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3 comments:
Very very cool, as usual.
FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
wooooooooohooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
"The bad ain't ever bad
the good don't always keep
and sometimes it don't mean sorrow
when someone starts to weep."
enjoy.
cenzo
It's always interesting when people think about the same things... write about the same things at the same time. Peep my game:
The Art of Crying When You Need to
When you feel it,
don’t make a big deal
draw in a breath evenly
conjure
friends that have died for whom
no mourning could be enough
expand your heart to four walls
spilling water like laughter
and when your head is stuffy
with the matters that concern small gods
draw in a breath evenly --
no body should be filled to bursting
because of the concerns of a small god!
When you feel it
birth it, gently, as one would a baby
place it carefully into your hands
like a mirror to peer into
and give it away to the person who feeds you
oranges, starfish and smiles.
- Quentin Johnson
3/27/05
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