(for eric)
Shut up!
you are wrong about me, nigga!
i don't always say what I feel
sometimes i swallow the words
before they erupt
and the gush flows like lava
sometimes I break the synaptic connection
between my heart and brain
so despite what you think
I don't always say what I feel
nigga!
but I do feel
and I do feel you
so intensely i wish it didn't feel
so full
and sometimes
even when i try to snatch words
out of the air
before they fall on your ears
or sing (a joyful song)
and joke (to mask these tears of joy)
or listen (cuz even our silence is music)
i know I need to hold up
back back
let you build the confidence in me
I have in myself
but sometimes I need you to
Shut Up!
cuz you be wrong about me, nigga!
sometimes
the words come involuntary
like hick-up or ka-choo
they get beyond my intention
to enslave them to my fear
that you will fear this
assurance I'm feeling
this cocky, Shaft-like, Superman
"I gots you, BABY
.....I handles mine!"
so Shut Up!
for as sure as I need to sing
i would never do anything
but want happiness for you
even if it wasn't with me, baby.
so I know you need time
to pace
and be cautious
be silly-fabulous
so that you don't do
what I'm failing so horribly
at doing:
stopping myself from expressing
how much
I adore you.
yes, dear
before you tell me to shut up, nigga?
Shut Up!
About Me
- About Tim'm
- Tim'm T. West is a poet, emcee, scholar and the author of three books "Red Dirt Revival", "BARE", and "Flirting". A graduate of Duke, The New School, and Stanford universities, he is also co-founder of the now defunct rap group DDC. Tim'm followed their success with three solo projects, "Songs from Red Dirt", "Blakkboy Blue(s)", and the 2009 release “In Security: The Golden Error”. He also created and hosted the "Front Porch" Spoken Word/Soul/Hip Hop showcase in DC, Oakland, Chicago, Brooklyn, Atlanta, Dallas, Houston and various U.S. Colleges and Universities. Tim'm also appeared in Byron Hurt's "Beyond Beats and Rhymes", Alex Hinton's "Pick Up the Mic", and is featured Mario Van Peebles documentary "Bring your "A" Game". Tim'm currently resides in Houston, TX where he is an active Volunteer for St. Hope Foundation's FUSION Program and Board Member for Fresh Start Community Haven. He has also been a Visiting Lecturer in Ethnic Studies at Humboldt State University in Northern California and continues to teach Philosophy and Humanities as an Adjunct Professor in Philosophy at Houston Community College. Find more about Tim'm's work at www.reddirt.biz
3 comments:
how beautiful to see you shining yourself and your experiences onto the pages of your blog heaven. i love to read your words because they offer authentic encounters from a heart as human and divine as mine. you blend the beauty and complexity of the human spirit into a wonderfully yummy mango protein shake that we all crave for. keep loving, living, and being the truth you were made to be .... tim'm, a really cool brah who spins words from his heart into stories that echo the human spirit. love and light, your sister ananda.
ps: i will see you perform on friday. i have been telling friends to come out to the carter barron to see you do your thang. may this opportunity mutiply infinity fold. may your heart and spirit continue to follow the guidance of Creator as you grow, love, and create... good night. travel safely.
Your spoken words, your Red Dirt Revival, and all the other pieces that I am coming into give me a peek into your window. And I love what I see. Too bad we missed each other this week, but we will get another opportunity. Shem hotep!
despite my issues with the 'n' word, i'm really feeling this poem...it's like i can hear you saying it.
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