Faithful (for charles everick)

in 1970 on this day
a blackboy was born
almost two years later I came
his first permanent gift
an introspective boy-toy
making beats on high chairs
and throwing rattles
at Mr. Rodgers

he'd always pick up
after me
bring whatever i threw
back to me
let me shake and release again
and there were few words
just a double-chin grin
and his joy
at spoiling me
maybe testing his hypothesis

these first experiments
me believing that all good things return
until it was time for him to teach
that few things are forever
so learning early
that many things we love
are unrequited
that just as you begin to trust them
like next breaths
these routines
like habits or heartstrings
almost always break

but some never do
some are special like that
faithful

30 some-odd years later
we exchange as few words
as we did back in the day
me measured by months
and him at two

at 33 and 35
we don't play anymore
I hardly see him
except for in dreams or prayers
yet with no less endearment
than the day I first called him
"brah"
or gave him dimes for nickles
because he said they were smaller
there are things I want
to shake and toss
have him bring them back to me:

memories
of our black boyhood
bicycle gangs and hookey
football and jheri curls
buzzer beaters
fights with niggas
or crushes on girls
adolescent innocence
wrestles with the holy ghost
and there are all those things
I never told him
that i always wanted to

so on this his 35th birthday
i find courage
to shake and toss
news of a new love
hopes of the home I hope to build
evidence of my litany for survival
and all the strength I've gained
from the weak moments

he has, too,
lived through bridges
breaking under pressure
and I am broke
so today I wish for him
a quarterback hail mary
he can catch
run back to me
redeem my faith
that there must be someone
out there
as faithful as he
the first boy
I probably ever loved.
______________________

Happy Birthday Brah!